Giggles

alpacas-with-flowercrowns:

wolf-and-kitten:

the-bored-cat:

She sadly did not have the creativity to name all of them unique names so she named each one a number from 1-100. One of them was named “one”, the next was “two” and so on all the way to one hundred. But, in a tragic accident, 99 of the children died. The only one who survived was the one named “Ninety”. Ninety eventually grew up and lived a whole life and she even had a few children of her own. One day, while Ninety’s children were playing outside, they stumbled upon a stray dog and the decided to keep it. Ninety did not want the children to have a dog so they hid it and named it “This” so that they could talk about it around their mom without her knowing. They would say “Lets go take This outside.” and things like that behind their mom’s back. One day, while Ninety’s children were not paying attention, This walks out into the middle of the street and gets hit by a car. This eventually dies and Ninety’s kids don’t tell their mother even then. No one else ever hears about This ever again.

Only Ninety’s Kids remember This.

OMG

How dare you make me read this with my own two eyes

(via photogenic-sloth)

bombing:

hello my name is Mr. Dickweiner. i’ll be your substitute teacher for today and your first lesson is in growing the fuck up. everyone that just laughed has automatically failed the pop quiz that’s coming up in two minutes. also my real name is Mr. Weissman

(via thewitchyfeminist)

pskira:

pungent-petrichor:

mockingjaysinmyhead:

gordacrybaby:

bepeu:

you ever been so stressed that you're calm

this is my constant state

my chill is fake

“How are you so calm?!”
“I’ve passed beyond stressed, beyond hysteria, into the grey misty indifference of complete shutdown of all but emergency services in my brain.”

bolded for emphasis. 

(via yakturtle)

teenagesoil:

I feel like I’m going to be that aunt who drinks vodka straight out of the bottle and ruins Christmas.

(via trust)